Drabbles In Underland
by Kidonia Shinji
Summary: A variety of silly and/or interesting ficlets created by myself and my increasingly crazy friends. These are meant only for providing kicks and giggles and each fic will have a rating in the precursory statement. Read at your own risk.
1. In Other News

A/N: Hey guys, thought I'd try my hand at Alice in wonderland this time. This will be a series of ficlets that me and my crazy friends come up with. (Credit where credit is due.)

Rating: T (for language, slash, violence, and smoking.)

In other news, the Red Queen's giant head has once again squished the frog. The Knave decided he'd had enough, defected to the White Queen's army and kidnapped Alice, but the Mad Hatter rescued her. The Knave then proceeded to kiss the Hatter and Alice said "What the hell?!" and pulled out a camcorder, "This is going in my blog." The March Hare was passing by, stopped, looked at the Knave and Hatter, looked away, noticed a spoon lying in the grass, and said "Spoon." As the White Rabbit hopped by saying "I'm late, I'm –" he noticed the spoon and then the Hatter and Knave and finished his sentence "spoon… yaoi!" Mirana saw all of these things and said "Whatever…" before smoking a cigarette.

Hope you enjoyed this, more to come soon.

~Kidonia


	2. Love Triangle?

A/N: Hey guys, told you there'd be more soon, heh. This one was purely my friend's creation and I am therefore completely non-responsible for its insanity. Unfortunately, the above statement is incorrect, due to the fact that I have added some minor elements to improve the flow and make the story(hopefully) funnier. (Credit where credit is due.)

Disclaimer - I do not own Alice in Wonderland 2010, or the rights thereof, I am just a poor fangirl.

Rating: T (language, possible mildly ideologically sensitive material, and minor violence.)

Dormouse: RUN....ALICE!!!!  
Knave: Alice?  
Alice: Oh come on, are you serious??? Would you stop obsessing over me and my so-called largeness! I don't like you, I'm in love with the Hatter!  
Hatter: Really, because I am fond of the Knave...  
Alice and Knave: WTFH!?!?!?!?  
Dormouse: Soooo...let me get this straight, the Knave likes Alice, Alice likes the Hatter, and the Hatter, for some ungod known reason why, likes the Knave.... Love Triangle much?  
Hatter: Oh Stayne, marry me! **Glomps the Knave.**  
Knave: GET OFF ME, YOU! **Shoves Tarrant off him.**  
Alice: Is gay marriage even legal in Wonderland?  
Card Soldier: Actually, it's called Underland, and yes, gay marriage is legal here. Five and I (**here he motions to the card soldier behind him**) are happily enjoying its legality as we speak.  
Dormouse: And on that note, I believe this is your cue to RUN...ALICE!  
Knave: Alice?  
**Alice runs off and the Hatter sprays perfume in the Knave's eye.  
**Knave: WTH!??! I thought you liked me...  
Hatter: Yes, I do, but it's part of the script. I am sorry, luv...  
Knave(**in a dejected tone**): ...I give up.  
Hatter(**mildly hopeful**)**:** Does that mean you'll marry me?  
Knave: Oh, hell no!  
Hatter: D'aw...

Hope you enjoyed this, more to come soon. Please R&R, 'cuz reviews are delicious.

~Kidonia

Review replies----------------------------

Dumb Genius - Glad it made you laugh, sorry it made you gag, but I am a Hatter/Knave shipper so that's too bad... Dis I just make a rhyme? lol ^_^


	3. Cheap Shots

A/N: Well, this one's been floating around, developing between me and my friend Sammantha, and now it's here to amuse all you darling readers. Please read and review, they give me extra fuel for the fire of my creativity.

Disclaimer - I don't own it, so please don't sue.

Rating: K+ (for mild violent imagery)

Alice, the White Queen's 'champion', was in the heat of battle with the mighty Jabberwocky. His great, spiked tail had just knocked her to the ground, and, as she scrambled to retrieve the vorpal sword, the Hatter had the nerve to prick the Jabberwock's tail. The Red Queen saw this and shouted, in her horribly grating voice, "The Hatter is interfering! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!"

At this, myself and the entirety of the Red Army engaged the White Army. I, of course, headed straight for that treasonous wretch, Tarrant Hightopp, and we began combat. Either I underestimated him or maybe his insanity lent him some measure of strength, because we were fairly matched. We traded several blows, me swinging and him blocking, and when I dealt a vicious downward slice, his sword came up to block.

We both did our best to deflect each other's blades, but, without missing a beat, the Hatter pulled a hatpin from his sleeve and stuck me in the eye, much as he did to the Jabberwocky's tail. Our swords slipped apart and he arced, as though to knock mine from my hand, but I, with one hand over my eye, shouted loud and clear, "Whoa, whoa! STOP! Everybody stop!" I lowered my hand so I could point at the Hatter, while everyone, including the two champions, all stood in a confused silence. "That was such a cheap shot!"

The Hatter had the decency to look at least mildly abashed. "It was the only thing I had handy..." He muttered, "I didn't want to lose the fight..." Shaking with rage, I shouted, "So you decided to jab me in my ONE good eye with a HATPIN?!" The Jabberwocky looked at Alice and said "He is right...that was a cheap shot..." Alice nodded and said "I may not want to lose but attacking someone like that is way too low a blow." Tarrant's eyes flash orange briefly and he shouted, "I didn't want to die, what else was I supposed to do?!?" and ran off with his arms flailing madly above his head into the Tulgey Wood. I looked around, slightly perturbed, and said, "Well...carry on..." I then sat at the edge of the battlefield, nomming on a delicious grilled cheese sammich, until Alice finally slew the Jabberwock.

FIN.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this one, it's been lots of fun writing it.

Until next time,  
~Kidonia


	4. Hallway Scene, Take Two

A/N: Hey folks, here's yet another chapter for you guys. I hope you enjoy this, but even if you don't, please leave a review telling us what you'd like to see or what you think is good about what we have so far.

Disclaimer - I don't own it, blah blah blah...you all know this stuff, because anyone who owned it probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

Rating: T(for inappropriate behavior, and mild violence.)

I was running, trying to give the eye back to the Bandersnatch, when, suddenly, I was pushed up against the hallway wall and then pinned. I gasped and looked down to see the Knave looking at me with lust in his eye. He leaned upwards and whispered with a hot breath, "I like you, Um…" He stretched further up and was inches from my lips, then he continued, "I like larg--" **BAM**

I blinked and looked at the Hatter, apparently he was running and hadn't seen us. 'Wait…' I thought, 'where is Stayne, and why does the Hatter have a look of disgust on his face?' I looked down and blushed, both from embarrassment and anger. Stayne was sprawled on the floor, looking up my skirt with a nosebleed and a smirk on his face! "I LOVE largeness!" He crowed delightedly.

Both the Hatter and myself kicked him and walked away. Stayne was wearing a smirk for the rest of the day, which scared a LOT of people, including the queen.

A/N: So then, guys and gals, that's the end of this one. Hopefully there'll be more coming soon, but I might have to hold off on posting if I don't get any reviews...

~Kidonia

*note* - I've got another chapter almost finished and I don't like to blackmail you guys, but I am not gonna post it unless I get at least one more review...I'm glad that I have gotten 125 visitors and all, but positive or negative, enjoyment or just flames, please leave a review.


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